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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    [01] i am nothing
    [02] invisible
    [03] bound by blood
    [04] breaking point
    [05] losing all hope is freedom
    [06] lost
    [07] they live
    [08] death panel
    [09] let go
    [10] among the living

    all music produced, arranged, engineered, and written by [name_withheld].
    all lyrics written and performed by [name_withheld].

    mixing and mastering by [name_withheld].

    all art created and manipulated by [name_withheld].

    dedicated to matt dean.

    i cannot undo what i have done and you will never know how truly sorry i am. just know that until my last breath i will remember you as i knew you, not how i created you.

    copyright 2015 [name_withheld], all rights reserved.
    [invalid_entry].

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Am Nothing via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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lyrics

blue skies die every time i close my eyes
i've burned them all for you
silent wounds empty of all epiphany
never once accepted your truth
gap-toothed lies wrapped in darkened eyes
do unto others as they do unto you
maybe one day i'll recognize the guise
and sever all the binds that turn my colors blue

"you act like a god but you're barely a beast"
i mean, at least you could cease to be
"not enough for me," you see
i crave the scars you have to inflict on me
cause every day it's passing me by
a semi-automatic attack and the bullets are lies
i draw the line in my mind
the more i unwind the more i'm out of time

beat me till i'm nothing - i don't wanna be alive
inside this hell inside my mind cause it's swarming like a beehive
i'm never good enough, and now i'm never gonna be
until you see that everyday you build and bury parts of me
broken promises and yellow grass beyond the fence
i don't want your thoughts in me cause i've lost my innocence
and all the happiness you wither up - i've come to terms with this:
you knife me with your words and then you fill the wounds with piss
hazy vision spinning everything i hope to be
into a mess of fiction choking on it's own reality
i suffer for your touch, and now i suffer in your wake
the monster that i made is here to take the love i tried in vain to make
sewn up empty with my thoughts alone i wait inside
no surprise to me i'll wait until it's time for me to die
and i hope it's one day soon because i cannot live with all the shame
and all the blame i put on you is really in my name

now i'm left with nothing - i'm the king of pain and sorrow
self-induced wounds fester while they wait for tomorrow
endless days i wait to hear the voice that picks up all the pieces
i'm defeated, and i cannot see me lasting till it ceases
promised me forever when you never had the faith in it
i trusted you and now i reap the withered seeds of my regret
it burns to bring up memories that haunt the corners of my heart
the ghost of who you used to be is calling from afar
hold back a half a million wordless screams it seems
i'm lost inside the world i tried to save from you in dreams
that hold the key to drive away this darkness brought on by my fear
i'm nowhere near to saving everything that i thought we held dear
demons flooding every nook and crack i failed to seal
bury my love then i pick and scratch the scabs that fail to heal
pick away at all the rusted nerves and let the layers die
let 'em die until this old machine is empty inside

credits

from I Am Nothing, released May 1, 2015

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[name_withheld] Warren, Ohio

Directed by insomnia, drug abuse, and severe emotional instability, [name_withheld] has an insidious drive to stab and bludgeon his way to the top of the music industry. Completely uncensored, [name_withheld] relates tales of violence, torture, abuse, and delivers scathing political and societal views, and refuses to let anyone tell him what is or isn't supposed to come out of his mouth. ... more

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